Fear.

I’m well accustomed to that feeling. I grew up learning every aspect of it. Fear to express who you really are and where you really want to get in life. Fear of letting down the people that love and care about you. Fear of being the ‘black sheep’. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection. You put me in all these boxes and as the years went by, they became smaller and smaller. Now, I’m trapped in them and can’t find my way out. I wish I wasn’t so scared but I am. I’m scared of YOU. I’m scared I can’t be who you want me to be but I can’t express this to you because of the fear of letting you down. I’m scared the path I really want to tread isn’t good enough for you. I’m tired of following dreams that look good on paper because that’s what you feel is right for me. It’s frustrating me. You wouldn’t know because you expect my life to be a bed of roses because I’m following the ‘right path’. You’ve boxed me in and now, I can’t stand to face another day of living in fear. 

 

Trapped in a box,

The walls start closing in on you,

Your mind tells you you can’t be good enough,

That’s when you panic and let the tears roll,

Too scared to be you,

Too scared to follow your own dreams,

Then, you realize the box is just fear,

You stay trapped regardless.

Why?

Fear already stole your dreams. 

 

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LoveHate Thing.

My favourite dream,

Then, you become my dreaded nightmare.

I know how warm your embrace could be,

You could also be cold and distant,

We have that LoveHate thing.

We bring out the best in each other,

But we’ve also really mastered how to tear ourselves apart.

We’d rather hate than love even when loving’s really all we should be doing.

There’s a fine line between love and hate,

But I really wish we could have one without the other,

I guess we do now ‘cause we put love to sleep,

Sometimes, we wish against ourselves.