Still Thinking…

You really never know how sad a person is. Our exposed selves only account for highlights of our passions and moments in time when we forget how hard getting out of bed was. I understand that it would be weird to share every moment we cry and every thought that chips at our emotional/mental health but how do we find the balance? Is there in fact a balance? A place where we’re both vulnerable enough to expose our sadness and vulnerable enough to accept/expose the moments we feel a little less sad.

I have been thinking a lot about the strength that lies within vulnerability but I think this is the most I have ever struggled with being vulnerable. I’m currently completely terrified of exposure. Isolation is my comfort zone. It has been for as long as I can remember but now, I’m isolating myself from my loved ones. I think maybe their love might magnify the cracks in my soul. The cracks that now house my relentless pain and chaos.

Unworthy. Incapable. Insignificant. Incompetent. Undeserving. Underserving. They ring and form a ring in my head.

(give yourself a little time to work through your thoughts. I will do the same.)

SignatureBlog

Lessons In My 20s #3


I have consciously taught myself to stop apologizing for my ability to access and understand my emotions. It isn’t over-sensitivity. It is strength that a lot of people wish they have.

Different.

We’re all different. Just like our faces are different, so are our callings. People need to stop getting things confused and trying to follow other people’s life paths. We’re all struggling to find our place in the world but can we try doing just that? Finding our own place. A place where we’re genuinely comfortable and confident in who we are, a place where we have next to no regrets and happiness is exactly what we’ve made it.
Can we try to understand ourselves before looking to other people to explain to us who we really are and what we’re really made of? Can we try following our own dreams and strive to accomplish our own goals? Can we try speaking our own truth and not be influenced by society’s unwritten standards?

You.

Be your own person,

Have your own mind,
Speak your own truth,
Don’t be driven by the ‘acceptable’ reality,
Create your own path and tread it,
Don’t be afraid to be yourself,
That fear drains your voice,
You need that voice,
It’s the essence of your being,
You honestly can’t afford to be anything less than an individual.

 

Independent Liars.

“Hiding how you really feel & trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar”

Came across this quote a few days ago and it made me stop dead in my tracks. Really? Is that really what it is? Lying? I never thought of it that way. I just felt I was a strong individual or maybe just a good friend. Not a liar. I fought how true that was but I lost. If you do consider the reality of things, there’s so much truth in it. A lot of us try to be overly strong and independent, that’s where we get it wrong. Along our journey, we mastered the art of lying. We became strong, independent liars when all we ever try to be is honest. Sad right?

A note to Her.

Stop making excuses for unrequited love. Yes, it’s really difficult not being loved like you should be. You keep hoping for the best regardless because you’re so in love with a person and who you believe they can be but the truth is you should learn to let go and not hurt yourself because of the love you have for another. If you love that hard, then just decide to love from a distance. It hurts a lot less. He won’t be able to love you until he makes a conscious decision to do so. Don’t inflict pain on yourself because you feel tomorrow will be better. Save your own little heart. 

Love yourself, honey.