Strength from scars.

They shouldn’t push you to believe you’re crazy. They don’t know where you’ve been. They haven’t walked in your shoes so they can’t even begin to comprehend your struggle or the complexity of your mind. You’re more than the smile on your face today, I know. You’re more than the calmness you seem to bring into situations now, I know. Your story is a lot deeper than that. You don’t show them your scars so they think you don’t have any. You don’t cry anymore so they think you’ve never shed a tear. You’re healed now so they believe you’ve never been hurt. It’s so difficult to get them to understand the kind of strength it took to crawl out of the hole of depression that was your past.
You know where you’re coming from and you see your growth. Don’t let them make light of it.
I acknowledge your strength. It’ll only get better from here.


Promise and pain.

You’re no longer the calm,
You’re no longer the reason she smiles,
You’re starting to cause unbearable pain,
You promised you’d never hurt her,
Now, everyday she wakes up without a smile.
You can tell she’s hurting but you continue to tug at her heart,
You’re smiling through her pain,
I hope whatever joy you’re deriving from this is comparable to the amount of love she has for you.
Yes, she cries at night.
Yet, she’s loving you through the pain.
You’re so wrapped up in yourself,
You can’t feel her slipping away.


When these nights get long and nothing else makes sense, I just bow my head and pray for strength to stay grounded and not be pulled down by exhaustion and frustration. It takes a lot to still keep my head up these days.  Forever grateful and thankful for the gift of life, grace and mercy. What am I without God? I have no strength of my own. The fact that you still see a smile on my face is his doing. He keeps guiding and protecting me. He has plans for me and I don’t fail to acknowledge the fact that these plans might not always be in line with my thoughts and wants. Yet, all I want is for him to take full control of my life and never let go. When every man fails me, I’m so thankful that I still have him to turn to.

So much has happened this year; taking time out to sit and consider the odds just weighs me down and drains me. I’ve decided to shake it all off and appreciate today and the future I still have. Nothing is impossible.