Selfish nothing.

He makes you laugh
He lets you cry on his shoulder
He makes sure you’re taken care of
He tells you you’re perfect and in the same breath, he tells you he doesn’t want you
He tells you he loves you and then tells you you can’t have him
Where’s the balance?
You can only save yourself by walking away
If you don’t, you’ll continue to hold on to nothing
You’ll continue to find comfort in his selfish desires
Maybe you have someone that genuinely wants you right now and wants to give you all of him
Maybe you don’t
But you can’t completely accept it if you keep holding on to these mixed emotions.

You’re exactly where you need to be
It’s perfectly fine that you don’t have it all figured out.
You see this life thing, no one’s really sure how to properly ‘do it’
Just try not to ‘do it’ alone.
In the end, you’ll be fine.


Life used to be so easy, it all seemed perfect. There was really no need to overthink or over analyze because everything just seemed to work out. Those were the days when growing up seemed to be the most exciting thing. I remember looking up to the adults around me because I thought they had it all figured out, I thought they were living in the moment I always dreamed about. They seemed to be living a life with no boundaries, they seemed to have all the freedom I craved.

Now, I feel like I’m in that moment and it’s nothing like my 10 year old self perceived it to be. I wish I had a little more time to prepare for exactly what the life of a young adult entails. Why didn’t anyone talk about the more important aspects of adulthood that made it a lot less enticing like friends betraying you, your heart breaking one too many times, the bumps in the road, doors that could shut in your face, and everything else that could cause you to overthink and stress?

When did life stop being so simple? Do we need those boundaries to exist within the walls of simplicity? Is complication the price of freedom?