For a long time, I was fighting for a seat at the table of a familiar stranger’s life
I crawled, I scratched, I begged, just to be seen
Just to be worthy
I was working overtime to prove myself
Because, they told me,
‘You have to fight for love, darling’
But when the right love walks in the door, you wouldn’t have to fight
Your only responsibility would be to open your arms, embrace it and keep it safe
All my life, love hurt
So, I began to measure love with pain
The more it hurt, the more certain I was it was real
Then you walked in
Calm, free of pain, offering love
I couldn’t understand how that was possible
In the spirit of trying new things, I let you in
I let you teach me what love really was
With every lesson,
I wonder how I lived without it for so long
I’m learning not to apologize for choosing myself
Facing the reality of the growing pains
But enjoying the process
Stop fooling yourself.
He always has an excuse for not being there for you,
Simply because he doesn’t care enough to.
When a person cares, they make you a priority.
The idea of me and you
Gets people intrigued.
Our reality however,
An unexplainable disaster.
The watered down conversations,
The lies and excuses,
The generic answers to mask the absence of your mind,
Made walking away painfully easy.
Pain taught her that nothing lasts forever.
No one thinks of you until you remind them you exist. It hurts. Playing second fiddle, I mean.
With the silence,
The loneliness starts to creep in
Irrelevant, inappropriate thoughts
A little anxiety
And the next second,
You’re drowning in pain of the past
It’s so hard to forget, I know.
Close your eyes and tomorrow will come
You’ll be ok.
The change was soothing
I was grateful for a fresh start
Then it hit me,
The pain was familiar.
I’ve read this book before
I know exactly how the story ends
Constant bickering then we grow apart,
Forget the real reason why we started the journey
Hurtful comments and inconsiderate actions.
You promised love will never hurt again.
Again, you lied.
You’ve broken the heart I just pieced together.
Same hell, different demons.