Lessons In My 20s #2


For a long time, I was fighting for a seat at the table of a familiar stranger’s life
I crawled, I scratched, I begged, just to be seen
Just to be worthy
I was working overtime to prove myself
Because, they told me,
‘You have to fight for love, darling’
But when the right love walks in the door, you wouldn’t have to fight
Your only responsibility would be to open your arms, embrace it and keep it safe

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All my life, love hurt
So, I began to measure love with pain
The more it hurt, the more certain I was it was real
Then you walked in
Calm, free of pain, offering love
I couldn’t understand how that was possible
In the spirit of trying new things, I let you in
I let you teach me what love really was
With every lesson,
I wonder how I lived without it for so long

Silence.


With the silence,
The loneliness starts to creep in
Irrelevant, inappropriate thoughts
A little anxiety
And the next second,
You’re drowning in pain of the past
It’s so hard to forget, I know.
Close your eyes and tomorrow will come
You’ll be ok.

Soothing pain.


The change was soothing
I was grateful for a fresh start
Then it hit me,
The pain was familiar.
I’ve read this book before
I know exactly how the story ends
Constant bickering then we grow apart,
Forget the real reason why we started the journey
Hurtful comments and inconsiderate actions.
You promised love will never hurt again.
Again, you lied.
You’ve broken the heart I just pieced together.
Same hell, different demons.