I have consciously taught myself to stop apologizing for my ability to access and understand my emotions. It isn’t over-sensitivity. It is strength that a lot of people wish they have.
From you, I learned.
I learned that to the wrong person, you’ll never be good enough.
I learned that not everyone has a heart as big as mine and that’s ok.
I learned that words mean nothing when they’re not backed up by actions.
I learned that loving a selfish person can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
I learned that being taken for granted has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.
I learned that I have to be my own support system.
I learned there’s really a thin line between love and hate.
I learned to love myself enough.
He makes you laugh
He lets you cry on his shoulder
He makes sure you’re taken care of
He tells you you’re perfect and in the same breath, he tells you he doesn’t want you
He tells you he loves you and then tells you you can’t have him
Where’s the balance?
You can only save yourself by walking away
If you don’t, you’ll continue to hold on to nothing
You’ll continue to find comfort in his selfish desires
Maybe you have someone that genuinely wants you right now and wants to give you all of him
Maybe you don’t
But you can’t completely accept it if you keep holding on to these mixed emotions.
Life breaks us down sometimes and as difficult as that is, we try to convince ourselves we can completely love again with those broken pieces. It’s almost impossible. Time heals and in order to give someone the kind of love they deserve, we need that time. We need to heal, we need to get ourselves to a place where we can selflessly give and hold nothing back. Only pain and the fear of falling back down can cause us to withhold parts of our love.
I’ve learnt that you need to be ready for love. Not to receive it-because the task is not in the receiving-but to give it. To give all you have to give to a deserving heart.
Looking into the eyes of someone you love and making them believe you don’t care just because you’re broken and you don’t want to admit you need fixing before you can completely embrace the love they have to offer without second guessing their intentions is the worst feeling.
Give yourself that time. Nothing hurts more than trying to pull love out of the cracks of a broken heart.
I let you break me,
I apologize for giving you that power.
I just didn’t imagine you’d ever exercise it.