You’re not his.
You’re the one he proclaims his love to while you lay on your back.
You’re the one that encourages him because only you can.
You’re the one he lets cry on his shoulders.
You’re the one he opens up to because you bring him peace.
You’re the one he avoids making eye contact with in public places.
You’re the one he avoids any physical contact with when the blinds are open.
You’re everything and more to him behind closed doors.
You’re not his.
They shouldn’t push you to believe you’re crazy. They don’t know where you’ve been. They haven’t walked in your shoes so they can’t even begin to comprehend your struggle or the complexity of your mind. You’re more than the smile on your face today, I know. You’re more than the calmness you seem to bring into situations now, I know. Your story is a lot deeper than that. You don’t show them your scars so they think you don’t have any. You don’t cry anymore so they think you’ve never shed a tear. You’re healed now so they believe you’ve never been hurt. It’s so difficult to get them to understand the kind of strength it took to crawl out of the hole of depression that was your past.
You know where you’re coming from and you see your growth. Don’t let them make light of it.
I acknowledge your strength. It’ll only get better from here.
He makes you laugh
He lets you cry on his shoulder
He makes sure you’re taken care of
He tells you you’re perfect and in the same breath, he tells you he doesn’t want you
He tells you he loves you and then tells you you can’t have him
Where’s the balance?
You can only save yourself by walking away
If you don’t, you’ll continue to hold on to nothing
You’ll continue to find comfort in his selfish desires
Maybe you have someone that genuinely wants you right now and wants to give you all of him
Maybe you don’t
But you can’t completely accept it if you keep holding on to these mixed emotions.
Tell me when you’re not strong enough
Tell me when you want to let your guard down and need a shoulder to cry on
It’s ok that you’re not ok
It’s ok that you’re not strong today
There’s nothing wrong with feeling the pressure
I see beyond your tough exterior
I see beyond your broken smile
I know you’re going through it
I know you’re struggling to figure it out
You feel like you can do better and be better
I’ll hold your hand until all the dots connect
Trust in this unconditional love, please.