You are…


You’re not hurt
You’re just angry you trusted him again
You’re angry you let your heart get to a place of vulnerability
You’re angry you started holding on to nothing
Depending on his presence even if he wasn’t yours
You wish there was a way to shut off your heart but it’s a little more complicated than that
Just breathe,
It’ll pass.
You’ve felt this emotion before
You know it doesn’t last forever
Just remember holding on to nothing is never a good way to support yourself.

Complicated.

I never give up, I never want to turn around once I embark on a journey. I just never want to feel like a failure. I’d rather struggle to stay afloat than admit I’m drowning. Maybe it has to do with my ego, principles or upbringing. I really don’t know. All I used to know was never quitting and in the end I’ll excel. It worked when life wasn’t so complicated even if at that point I thought life couldn’t get any worse. Apparently, it can. 

 
Everything’s crazy now. I’m so close to the end but I’m even closer to giving up. All I hear now is “you can do it, I have faith in you. You never fail”. Not really sure how much faith I have in myself anymore. I’m scared out of my mind and I don’t know how else to put it across. Not really sure if this kind of fear is healthy but I’m sure I don’t want to keep feeling this way. 
 
I’m about to have 10 crazy days but I’m putting all my faith in God ’cause I know He has never failed me and he won’t start now. I’ll make it through.